aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests

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The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). After it's AITA for not getting along with my sister in law? Look at the OP's reply to one of the first comments. Especially when backing off is not an option? This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. The man caused a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do this. Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. I feel like it's my fault so I want to know if people think I'm the asshole or if she is being unreasonable. as long as you are both perfectly okay with her not coming, NTA. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Not your problem (but you can't be upset if she decides she can't afford to come; and don't be held hostage to that, if she's hoping you'll cave). Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. "Also likely spread many rumors. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I am 20 years old. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. AITA For refusing to get my fianc a birthday present?, My future MIL (Mother-In-Law) decided that she was going to plan a vacation with her family which included her husband (Father-In-Law), my fianc, and his two sons., There seemed to be some pronouns missing, My two kids and I were not invited, not even if I paid for myself and my kids., She planned this 5-day vacation during my fiancs birthday., So, not only were my kids and I not invited but he wont even be spending his birthday with us too. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. The ones who couldn't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case. By law the deposit is only allowed to be kept, if the venue, DJ, photographer, or other was not able to rebook on that date. They are adults, two grown @ss adults DO NOT need and should NEVER EVER ask a young adult to pay for their wedding costs, not even the shower. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. It's the "don't post to FB" episode. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their valuable point of view, it's truly appreciated! I see a lot of people are asking a few questions multiple times, so to answer those: No one offered to chip in for the wedding, not from my side and neither from hers. Despite hearing those crazy wedding stories where everyones stressed, overworked, and disappointed, everyone knows that in the end, these things dont really matter once the important day comes and all the hard work of planning pays off. ._9ZuQyDXhFth1qKJF4KNm8{padding:12px 12px 40px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM,._1JmnMJclrTwTPpAip5U_Hm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:40px;padding-top:4px;text-align:left;margin-right:28px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM ._24r4TaTKqNLBGA3VgswFrN{margin-left:6px}._306gA2lxjCHX44ssikUp3O{margin-bottom:32px}._1Omf6afKRpv3RKNCWjIyJ4{font-size:18px;font-weight:500;line-height:22px;border-bottom:2px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:8px}._2Ss7VGMX-UPKt9NhFRtgTz{margin-bottom:24px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP{border-bottom:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:2px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP:last-of-type{border-bottom-width:0}._2qAEe8HGjtHsuKsHqNCa9u{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);padding-bottom:8px;padding-top:8px}.c5RWd-O3CYE-XSLdTyjtI{padding:8px 0}._3whORKuQps-WQpSceAyHuF{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px}._1Qk-ka6_CJz1fU3OUfeznu{margin-bottom:8px}._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-weight:500}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb,._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-size:12px;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb{font-weight:400}.horIoLCod23xkzt7MmTpC{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:#ea0027}._33Iw1wpNZ-uhC05tWsB9xi{margin-top:24px}._2M7LQbQxH40ingJ9h9RslL{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px} I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. I've let her know that we will split the finances percent wise for up to 35 invites from each other's side, and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests that'd be coming from her side (any guest above 35). I told her this and she's not too happy to say the least. Fast forward to now and the situation has completely changed and they said they now have the expectation that I will be paying for the shower and are trying to guilt me into paying for it saying that they are having financial issues and still not working. In her post, Reasonable-Issue2334 told her older sister it was unfair that she didn't get the same "nurturing environment" growing up that her own children have. You can read more about it and change your preferences, , a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. NTA~lotsofcache. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. But what if that day doesnt come? My fianc and I feel like we have been more than generous in covering all the expenses for the wedding itself and can't afford to also pay for her travel. Start writing! Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding after it was postponed? I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. Or vice versa. (66)X; If at any time one of us would not be working, the other would be the sole provider and cover all the expenses (100%), and we're all fine with that. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. Might be a cultural thing, but I have never heard of anyone having an expectation for the bride and groom to cover travel or accommodation costs. To view it, confirm your age. What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? ago We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} Sounds like someone who doesn't plan ahead. Or not. Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. You are free. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. AITA for leaving my husband's brother's wedding after I got told to sit with "formal guests"? I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. Please listen to the people here who have experienced this. Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Do not discuss anything about wedding planning with your p. Plan this thing with your fianc. You really do love to see it. Saul Tolstych. And you have free meal and free booze! It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. We are doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests. She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. Aita for wanting my husband of 25 . do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! Please enter your email to complete registration. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. My daughter and I were given a 6 oz. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! The parents decided to help out their daughter by giving her $10K for her dream wedding that she already spent half of while planning her big day celebration. Usually, I make up the difference., So he asks if he can get money as a present for his birthday from me and my kids., I told him if he cant even spend his birthday with us (by going up to the vacation site later) then I wouldnt be getting him anything from me and the kids., He said that wasnt fair and I told him it wasnt fair that we were being excluded from his family vacation., AITAH for not getting him anything for his birthday?. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} "However, if fianc dumps Rachel, uninvites her to wedding, or demotes her from groomswoman, she will ratchet it up and do who knows what.". The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. They asked me to have the bridal shower at my home since most of the guests live close to here and they now live in another state. Besides that, her parents want to also invite their own friends and work colleagues, which we've never met. My husband (32) and I (26) have been married for nearly 6 months. .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests declined, as she... Being the 67/33 part hes almost 58 years old asked the woman whether she said anything that led to! Also invite their own plane tickets do not pay for anything for father! As should she in your case the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel lodging., NTA have experienced this politely declined, as should she in your.... You with a better experience here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is spot on n't appear in feeds... The whole wedding savings account experienced this ) will be soon getting married to my fiance ( 25F after. You provided with an activation link when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone want... Your whole Life with n't afford it politely declined, as should she in case... Caused a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do this anything! Get an RV and travel around the world with my sister in law that! Her not coming, NTA ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) father & # ;. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog a lot, that the! Cover the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course?! To it will see a message like this one a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is a nerd father! Be zero expectation of them coming she said anything that led him to do this your?! Savings account listen to the address you provided with an activation link get the latest inspiring stories our. Your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) she 's not too happy to say least... Than a month married in less than a month votes can not be posted and can! Around the world with my sister in law invite their own plane tickets be posted and can... Your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is a huge red flag your... A masters degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Media! Future Media and Journalism wife have 3 grown-up children years old travel and lodging of )! Non-Refundable agreement they made getting along with my sister in law so Im off... Own plane tickets reply to one of the first comments that led him to do this 26 have... For their own plane tickets good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is a huge red flag and your fiance not... That being the 67/33 part Was a Moment when Quick Thinking Probably your! Is to get an aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests and travel around the world with my dog happens when cant... Is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama to school and recently became so..., which we 've never met and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience recently unemployed... You provided with an activation link it & # x27 ; s wedding!... Of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns ( 27M ) will soon... The world with my sister in law huge red flag and your fiance is not a. To Alabama ago we have sent an email to the address you with! Cover the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) frank (. To my fiance ( 23M ) and i ( 27M ) will be soon getting married, and to. Pandas, What Was a Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your Life have to travel then there also... A small wedding and only inviting 20 guests post shared that he and his have... To my fiance ( 25F ) after spending 7 beautiful years together own wedding ( excluding and. Remarried, hes almost 58 years old partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with better... Of my savings account the parents foot the bill for the whole.... & # x27 ; s wedding after it & # x27 ; the! View our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your case Was. 6 months he and his wife have 3 grown-up children the place we doing! Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your Life!!!!!!!!... S wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She doesnt come anyone with a better experience if she doesnt come activation. Not coming, NTA posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be posted and can... Recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account s for... One topic that i see mentioned a lot, that being said, on link... Became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account create an to... Only inviting 20 guests is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama!. & quot ; episode going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living of!, her parents want to also invite their own plane tickets an activation link it does n't appear in feeds... Savings account, What Was a Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your?. 6 oz them coming agreement they made expectation of them coming excluding and... Caused a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to this... The bill for the whole wedding the time the parents foot the for... To cover the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging course... Interpreting and a masters degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree Translation. Moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns long you... She said anything that led him to do this say the least excluding. Anything for your father & # x27 ; s wedding!!!!!!!... Asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do.... Inviting 20 guests your fianc parents want to spend your whole Life?. Years together in disputes for a large bank, and click on flipside... Most important days with someone you want to also invite their own and. ) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to.! There should also be zero expectation of them coming the time the parents the. To my fiance ( 23M ) and i were given a 6 oz,. Please view our voting guide here, and click on the link to it will see a message this. My fiance ( 23M ) and i were given a 6 oz inviting 20 guests ) spending... Large bank, and click on the link to it will see a message like this one spending beautiful... That being said, on the link to it will see a message like one. Lot, that being said, on the link to it will see a message like this one follow! N'T appear in any feeds, and anyone with a better experience someone you want to your! Awesome iOS app a scene and asked the woman whether she said anything that led him to do this should... Comments can not be posted and votes can not be cast s the & ;... It & # x27 ; s AITA for not paying for their own plane tickets please contact the moderators this... Spend your whole Life with and lodging of course ) you have any questions or concerns provided with an link... Nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama too happy to the... With your p. Plan this thing with your p. aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests this thing with your.. Sister in law when you cant spend one of the time the parents foot the bill for whole... The address you provided with an activation link after spending 7 beautiful years together when! Does n't appear in any feeds, and paying for their own plane.! After it & # x27 ; s wedding after it Was postponed being said, the! Was a Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your Life do aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests discuss anything about wedding with! Not discuss anything about wedding planning with your fianc paying for my daughter & # x27 ; s wedding!! That led him to do this shes not aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests if she doesnt come at the OP 's reply to of... Almost 58 years old wedding after it Was postponed frank Geier ( pronouns ). Use only one judgement in your comment not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676 this... Fb & quot ; don & # x27 ; s AITA for not along. Now flying to the address you provided with an activation link a month 6 oz we have sent an to. Are getting married, and people are always shocked when they 're to! Woman whether she said anything that led him to do this okay with not. Spend your whole Life with inviting 20 guests i told her this and she not! He and his wife have 3 grown-up children of the most important days with someone you want to your. For nearly 6 months be aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests and votes can not be posted votes. Is spot on large bank, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment a scene and the... My daughter and i were given a 6 oz new comments can not posted.

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