No need to unfriend or block him if you take these steps. youve never dated anyone as good as your ex. Its now been 29 days since my last text. Firstly, the no contact rule is only step one in the process. You go in thinking that he is a shoe in to message you throughout the period but it doesnt happen at all. We laughed a lot, had lots of fun together and didnt really argue. He became indifferent although he occasionally told me he loved me. Hes wanted to see me and Ive always just been nervous to see him again about a month in after 4-9 hour phone conversations he said I love you and weve been saying that for the last three months we got into a fight about a month ago he was upset I hadnt come to see him but we continued on talking hes told me Im the one for him hes talked about houses to buy and having kids with me and that he thinks Im his twinflame hes even read books about twin flames hes sent me. The secret subtext behind every happy birthday text from an ex is: Look at me, I'm so ~over it~ that I can wish you a "happy" day and it's totally fine! If the dumper feels guilty or remorseful for leaving the dumpee (especially if she left the dumpee for someone else), wouldnt no-contact actually help the dumper move on quicker? Would highly recommend to anyone wanting assurance and a little bit of female guidance from a different point of view. Hope you get better soon. I replied saying let me know if you want to talk. The point I am trying to make here is that silence is very powerful and the no contact rule uses silence to its advantage. Because I have literally been in that position before. I have no idea but my ex did the same thing, 5 months after our last talk, he blocked me. Here is what a failing attitude looks like: I am so depressed he hasnt called me my life revolves around him blah, blah, blah.. When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. Because it is these same women who come back with their tail between their legs when their ex boyfriend doesnt contact them at all saying that: I tried this and it didnt work.. What do I do now??????. He has an avoidant attachment style and has difficulty expressing his emotions. Easier said than done but I believe in you. Youll appreciate your new partner that much more. She may never change and be able to appreciate what a great guy you are!! Unfortunately, you likely won't get him back this way unless your ex gets hurt so badly, he abandons his pride and finds alternative ways to contact you. What Hes Thinking During Every Day Of No Contact, If He Blocks You, He Loves You? You are always going to have to be the one to take the first step and press the action when it comes to communicating. Hey April I would say that you need to complete 30 days minimum or 45 max before reaching out, Hi, we have been together for 8 months. That Friday 5 days after the argument she sent me some messages in the evening, we were speaking until 2am, she told me she had started online therapy and it was for 15 days she told me she felt she was missing the chance of her life with me she couldnt imagine life without me and she needs me in her life, I felt happy she had told me these things and thought we were going to sort it out between us. Well, while you are discouraged that he hasnt grown a spine and contacted you to at least see how you are doing he is sitting back chanting. I just wondered if there was any advice on what happens now? In other words, if the dumpee is out of the dumpers sight, why wouldnt the dumpee also be out of the dumpers mind? Lets say that you are using the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend. For example: - You were distant and did not successfully communicate with your ex I told him that I felt hurt and I did not wanted to make things worse between us, so when ready I would have kept in touch. Seriously, I am so used to messaging girls (who I am romantically interested in) first that it is kind of annoying to me to keep doing it. She tried to get us back together but I said I need time to think. Originally, I thought it would be fun to write a massive program on how to get your ex boyfriend back and see what happened. Don't mope around. I want you to close your eyes and imagine something with me for a moment. How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? What Happens When You Ignore A Breadcrumber? It would be healthy if your ex could forget about you for a while though. Some of these things could make good reasons. If anything, they are going to use you to get over you, and then discard you when they meet someone else. When someone asks why my ex blocked me, then this may refer to a blockade in front of you everywhere. Thanks! I asked why she had seemed different towards me, she told me she was missing hone alot (shes Brazilian and has lived in the UK 2 years) she also said she felt depressed, worried about money as her company had just shut that week because of corona virus so she had little money coming in, she was worried about her daughter with school as she now isnt going, and her mum is due to go back to Brazil if the flight isnt cancelled in May so she has alot in her mind, I listened, I told her Id support her and Ill be there for her through any bad times shes facing, I said she doesnt have to tell me all her problems she has if she doesnt feel comfortable, but I am here for her if she needs me and if she feels ready Ill listen. Learn how your comment data is processed. She doesnt seem like the kindest person. These are generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves in relationships. Before I say anything else I just want to throw that out there. He broke up with me after 1.5years over 4mths ago because he lost the connection as we didn't spend enough time due to conflicting schedules. Defriending after a break up is a very different move for people than removing someone's cell phone number from their phone. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. And only gave a little time for me. I know youre hurting and dont want to be forgotten, but dont let your destroyed self-esteem affect your rational thinking. Here's the downside, she's actively trying to set those feelings aside so she can go on living life without having to deal with them. I will keep applying the no conctac rule. If you start applying the no contact rule after the breakup, you are not only giving yourself the best chance to get your ex back, but you are responding with maturity and dignity. Answer (1 of 9): That's a good news for you bruh ! It doesnt matter if he blew your phone up with text messages during NC or if he completely ignored you as you were ignoring him. That brings me to my next point. They will sit around and say, Hes going to have to text ME first if he wants a date with me.. We did not communicate well at all or I feel would could have recovered. Remaining in contact with yo. If you stay friends with your ex, right after the break-up, you are going to suffer and stay friends until you choose to go separate ways. Believe me when I say it takes a man who is incredibly stubborn to not contact you during a 30 day NC period. Does this mean that the no contact failed? Your NC time period has just concluded and you are debating on whether or not you should contact him via a text message. Heres the issue. Be the one to end the conversation. That would be impossible as they had a close connection with their ex and created a lot of memories. My ex, who I will call Green for their privacy, had come to the sudden realization that they had Dissociative Identity Disorder around 7 . I told her again Id support her and wait until she was ready Ill always be here for her and I like her for who she is with and without problems it didnt matter to me because I like her. Good luck!! You reach out but you do not mention that he deleted you. For now, just hit "unfollow" not "unfriend" so you're not tormented by his Facebook updates. When your ex texts during no contact, you aren't aware of what their intention might be. Dont text her!!! So whether I tell you that your ex will forget about you or remember you forever, bear in mind that my words wont change the outcome. Men are different though. Hi Mr J So I dont think it was really necessary to contact me. The no contact rule was born from this type of thinking. What I should do? As Ive written about multiple times in my experience, ex boyfriends have a tendency to contact you at the strangest of times. These things are completely out of your control. And because of this i have been so disrespectful to her. Try to behave in line with confidence and high moral values as your ex doesnt want to see that youre broken-hearted and uncertain about your abilities and worth as a person. To make your ex boyfriend miss you right? I have done some really shameful things when I have been ignored in the past. I am going to make this really simple for you. dont Give her the satisfaction of oh here he goes contacting me again become a ghost to her and let her reach out to you. Should I reach out to him? Your ex wont forget about you if you go no contact. Give full vent to your feelings in the comments section below the post. I just control my anxiety and she did not bother helping me get through it even if it was her fault why i developed this. He said I deserve better and cannot wait. Your ex will think about you more because youll become mysterious and make your ex wonder what youre doing and how youre coping with the breakup. I never said the same doesnt apply to your ex. Ailie, I would suggest that you go a full 45 days NC and when he does come back that you explain this is the last time you are willing to make things work and if he leaves again you are happy to start moving on with your life. I guess the two go hand and hand dont they? He said he had to let me go as he cant give now me the love and care I deserve. Here are some things that could go wrong for your ex during no contact and make your ex think about you: Most people think about their exes when their lives are going very bad. She is going on a lot of trips, skiing every weekend, out with friends, and spending a lot of money on Distracting herself with everything she can possibly do. But what do you think is going on in his mind during this period of no contact? hi Lily, you broke NC once you answered his text, you need to go 30 days SOLID no speaking with your ex to complete a successful NC and in that time you work on yourself. We are 1 week into the no contact contract and its killing me I often ask if he misses me, if its really over I really want to know your opinion I have read almost every article about break ups and how to get together with my ex. 11. I have blocked and removed her family & friends from all my social media, but I still have a few friends who show me her things about her over posting just how fun she is having. In that case, one needs to adjust to solo parenting so the kids can thrive. Firstly, it puts you in control. These two reasons are the only perpetrators and the main reasons why you as a dumpee may think that blocking your ex to get him back is a good idea. Maybe focus more on you than herand try not to overthink things. My ex texted . This may spark an interesting debate though because if an ex boyfriend is using his own silence to hurt you does it mean that he would ever consider a reconciliation? Why does she feel like shes more of a babysitter to you?? She should never feel like your caretaker.Women like to feel secure In knowing that they have a man that leads. But if your relationship was good, then you might want your ex back even after youve regained your composure. I tried to reconcile with no avail. Do I mention hes deleted? You have been in the no contact period for about 10 days but he hasnt contacted you. Mistake #1) Telling your ex you're going to go "No Contact". By being mindful of your response and the way you react to their . Do you remember what I said the main purpose of the no contact rule was? Now, there are a number of reasons an ex might choose to unfollow you. I ended things last night saying that I loved him but I couldnt beg him to love me the way I love him and that I hoped hed come back to me and I hoped he was going to be okay.. do you think the No contact rule will maybe push him to get better or am I a horrible person for not staying longer when Ive begged him for things to go back to how they were. I have been also working out and focusing on myself because I know its important. Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that any time a girl I really like ignores me it bugs me on a deep level. As a matter of fact, your ex will remember you when the new person reminds him/her of you or when your ex does something he or she did with you. And when she does, b/c she will, you will need to be a different kind a man. 2. Well, you probably threw a tantrum. It is very difficulty to remain friends with your ex especially soon after the breakup. One of the most interesting trends I found relating to the no contact rule is that the women that have the attitude that I outlined above always seem to do well in the big picture when it comes getting their ex boyfriends back. (And I hadn't even made any move online to suggest how I felt or that anything had changed in my life.) Do I continue to wait for her to reach out or move on? She told me she will compromise. Thats just the way the human brain works. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong. This is me taking responsibility for not explaining the no contact rule as thoroughly as I should have. On some level, he has an idea of when he thinks he can reach out. There's no such thing as an altruistic . Best read since Lord of the rings was released. It makes no sense to me why she would suddenly change her mind over night. We had some messages back and forward thst day, she said our relationship was over 2 weeks ago when I told her fuck you. So, what is no contacts true purpose? she had met all my family and me the same with her with the family she has here!! If he contacts me then he contacts me. Its why your ex broke up with you in the first place. For some reason every time I think of this example I think of your ex boyfriend just sitting in a dark room chanting: Ill show her Ill show her Ill show her.. I love and miss him so much, Hey Claire, it is only you who can deicide if you want to move on or not, I am happy to give you advice with whichever path you choose. I said oh and he didnt reply about a week later I messaged him on Instagram and weve been talking everyday for four months everything has been over our phone because we both live in different towns and work etc gets in the way. What about then? We are perceived as weak by other men if we talk about our feelings. Trust me. 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